Saturday, May 14, 2011

Yes, Virginia, there is a zombie fitness class.

        First off, I would like to apologies for my extremely late post. I have been trying to get access to Blogger since thursday, (thursday in Japan, wednesday in Canada) but kept getting a message that maintenance was being done making the site read only. With that out of the way, on too the blog!

     May is zombie awareness month. Yeah, you heard me right ZOMBIE AWARENESS MONTH. This fact has only recently come to my attention, and as a hardcore horror fan I would be remiss if I didn't find a way to write about zombies here. Oddly enough finding information wasn't hard, just go google "zombie fitness" and you'll find a load of sites dedicated to the subject.

                                                   Got to work those brains off some how. 

    Both The zombie survival guide By Max Brooks, and Zombieland make persuasive arguments in support of physical fitness. With Zombieland's statement "Fatty's die first", though blunt, is probably true one when it comes to escaping a horde of the undead. The next question is, what kind of fitness is best for a post zombie apocalypse world? That all depends on the format of the zombie survival fitness class that you take, and yes, there is more than one.

                                      They may have numbers on their side, but you have cell regeneration.

         There seem to be 3 general areas to concentrate on if you want to be prepared for the day that the dead walk the earth.

1.  Running

     In Night of the living dead Barbara had it right, you want to live you kick off your heels and run like hell.  We're talking sprinting, running while being grabbed onto, and endurance. To help with this you can try running while attached to a resistance band, while carrying weights, or dragging another person. Not only is this good cardio, but adds a strength element into the work out. Speaking of which....

2. Strength

    Strength is the jack of all trades when it comes to surviving zombies. The most obvious use is in dispatching your rotting enemy. The weapon that first comes to mind, is of course, the gun. But, let's be honest, not everyone has access to a gun. You have to be able to use what you have at hand, be it baseball bat, fire iron, or shovel. You better be abel to swing it like you mean it, because you only get one shot. The second area that strength comes in hand is evasion. Remember zombies can't eat you, if they can't reach you. Climbing over obstacles, or to higher ground quickly and efficiently could just save your still beating heart.  Exercises that can help in this area are of  the old school variety, pull ups. push ups, general arm exercises. Kettle bell training can also work well, as it involves fluid, quick movements with heavy weights. 

3. Balance and stability

    Any fan of horror can tell you that a stumble during a chase can spell doom, and a twisted ankle can be the kiss of death. We all know you don't need to out run the zombies, just one of your friends. Improving your balance and core stability can help prevent injury and will maximize the impact of your other workouts. General abdominal and back exercise are all you need for this are, if you want to get fancy try doing your upper body workout on one leg. This forces your balance to improve, because if it doesn't you fall, simple as that. 

    There you have it, the three areas you need to focus on if you want to increase your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse. Fitness is no guaranty of survival, but it's better than being lunch. 

Tara


6 comments:

  1. This post has a level of awesomeness that will never be beaten :p

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have to say , this is one of the best posts you have done, mostly b/c it contains zombies and fitness all in one ....you rock!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Max Brooks would be proud. Well Done!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awesome post.

    However, speaking as a fatty, a survivor and one helluva carnivore, running, for me, is less important than knowing how to run a propane grill, the strength of my constitution is more important than my strength of arm and the only thing I need balanced and stable is my diet. I can grow my own fruits and herbs and veggies just fine, but in a world where I can no longer go to the store to pick up a steak, a chop, a burger or some boneless, skinless chicken breasts, you better believe I'm going to be eating the dead before they can eat me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I see a few holes in your logic. Growing your own food takes time, real-estate, and skill. During a zombie invasion you're spending your time trying to avoid being eaten by zombies. You don't go outside for very long because the more time you spend out in the open the greater the danger. Lastly, you live in a city, I doubt you have basic farming skills or equipment, I could be wrong about that fact but I don't think I am. Sorry LDP, but you better get fit if you don't want to be dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Actually, I totally have the skills. But, yeah, I couldn't produce enough to last all year. BUT! I will also forage and I will be the zombies' bogieman, as I'm going to eat their bodies and leave their festering heads in moaning piles around my garden.

    ReplyDelete